Dear Stacie

Dear Stacie,
A friend and I recently got into it because I told her that I don’t want to hang out at her place no more. “Brittany” lives at home with her mama. I am 30yrs old and aint lived with my parents since I was like 16. I told “Brittany” that she can come kick it at my place since I am uncomfy at hers. I am uncomfy because if we are in her room drinking or doing x, y, and z, I have to hide the bottle when her mama walk by.
I feel like I am in highschool again sneaking around and ish. Don’t get me wrong, I respect her mama and her home, but I don’t feel like I should have to hind or sneak. How do I repair my friendship and get “Brittany” to understand?
Thanks in advance,
-Too Grown To Sneak
Dear Too Grown To Sneak,
I appreciate you taking the time to reach out to me and I apologize for taking so long to respond. I’ve read your email a few times trying to think of the appropriate response to your dilemma.
Here is what I’ve come up with:
Problem: You are uncomfortable “partying” at “Brittany’s” house.
Solution: Party else where.
It seems simple enough but apparently your friend felt some type of way about your solution.
I’m thinking that maybe “Brittany” felt as if you are no longer interested in hanging out with her over there at
all period.
Maybe you can meet in the middle?
Since you have your own place how about you invite her over to your place to (ahem) “TURN UP”? That way you don’t have to sneak to be grown and you can go to her  place just to chill.
Invite “Brittany” over next weekend to drink and kick it at your place then the weekend after suggest that you go over to her place to watch horrible movies on Netflix and order take out.
If your friendship is really worth it you guys will find a way to meet in the middle.

 

I hope that helps,

 

-Stacie
Stiletto

Dear Stacie,

I was involved with this guy for a while and we were making life decisions to be together. All was well for a while then something happened that caused us to break up.
We tried to make things work a few months later but it wasn’t the same. We got into it constantly and “Mike” told me to no longer contact him. No calls. No texts. No social media. We were broken up FRFR (for
real, for real) this time.
We go 6mos w/o contact then out the blue I get an email from “Mike” saying that he loves me and how much he misses me and wants to be a part of my life again.
We start hanging out, not dating, just hanging out. He tells me he has a girlfriend after a few weeks of us kicking it. Now I feel uncomfortable b/c I love and want to be w/ him and I am sure he feels the same.
When I tell him I’m going out or if he calls/txts me while I’m out and he ask who I’m with or if I’m on a date… he gets upset.
I’ve asked him to break up with that girl and be with me but he said he won’t. He said he loves both of us. He wants to kick it with me and still be with her.
We went out with a group of friends and we both were drinking and we ended up making out on a friends couch. We felt like “us” again. I got up and left because I didn’t want to sleep with him and he still with her… later he txtd my phone asking what was up and I told him that I am not going to sleep with him b/c he has a girlfriend.
He then tells me that being friends is cool and all but if we aren’t sleeping together then whats the point…?
I didn’t text back after that. I just stared at the screen.
I love him and want him to be a part of my life but I am unhappy with this situation. What should I do?
-Unhappy in Love
Dear Unhappy in Love,
I hope that by the time you read this your spirits are high and all is well. I am sorry to read that you are unhappy in love. That is truly a terrible feeling. I was once in your shoes many moons ago and I know exactly how you feel.
Sweetie, I hate to be the bearer of bad news… but all the signs are clear. It’s time for you to move on from
that situation.
“Mike” is only interested in having his cake and eating it too.
He flat out told you that he is only interested in a physical relationship with you and that he has no
intentions on breaking up with his girlfriend. There is no way to misinterpret that.
It is going to hurt like hell to walk away but you deserve to be with someone who loves you MORE than you love
them. Someone who wants to be WITH you not just sleep with you.
I only offer advice and you are free to do with it as you please. I hope that whatever decision you make works
out in your favor.

 

Peace and many blessings,

 

-Stacie
Stiletto

Dear Stacie,

I don’t have anything I need help with. I just
wanted to tell you that I enjoy reading your blog.
 Girrrrrrrrrrl you got me
hooked on #DiaryOfACheater !!!!!
I am too thru with James! How he gon feel some
type of way because Harley decided to move on? He better get his life!
Can’t wait for the update.
-Anxiously Waiting
 
 
Dear Anxiously Waiting,
 
I appreciate you taking the time to read #DiaryOfACheater and for reaching out to me. 
 
I am
so glad that you enjoy my work. When I first started toying with the idea, I
wasn’t sure if people would really “get it”.  I am so glad that you do.
 
Honey let me tell you… James behind made me get up and walk
away from the computer a few times lol! 
 
I have much in store for #DiaryOfACheater and I promise you that updates
are coming soon.

 

 
Thank you for your support,
 
-Stacie
Stiletto

Dear Stacie,

My husband and I recently decided that it is more cost effective for me to be a stay at home mother. With the price of daycare and gas getting back and forth to work, my checks were basically nonexistent.
It has been 3 months since we made this decision and I am having a hard time with the transition. I’ve been working since my early teens and I can’t seem to grasp this “housewife” lifestyle. Now that I am home every day it seems as if I can’t get anything done. I have no clue why I can’t manage my home now that I’m no longer working outside the house.
When I was working everything got done, nothing fell behind. I was working taking care of home, running errands, and still had a social life. Now it seems like an endless cycle of dishes and laundry.
Any suggestions on how I can make this work?
-Unemployed & Overwhelmed
Dear Unemployed & Overwhelmed,
I hope that by the time you read this your spirits are high and all is well. I hate to read that you are having
a difficult time being a stay at home mom.
Things seemed a bit easier when you were working because you MADE time to do it. When you are working and have children to take care of you don’t have as much free time. So the bit of time you do have you make the most out of it… who wants to spend their entire off day cleaning house and doing laundry?
So as working moms we do what needs to be done. We get up a bit early to throw a load in the washer and unstack the dishwasher, we run errands on our lunch break, and when we get home in the evenings we are drying and folding clothes, helping with homework, cooking dinner, feeding and bathing children, getting them to
bed, and doing whatever else that needs to be done for the day.
When I first became a stay at home mom I had a difficult time with the transition as well. I had the “I’LL DO IT LATER” mentality. I was home all day so I didn’t have to get up and do it NOW, I could
do it LATER. Later turned into tomorrow, tomorrow turned into the next day, and the next day turned into “OH
BABY, I WAS GOING TO DO THAT BUT SEE WHAT HAD HAPPENED WAS….”
In order for me to actually get something done I had to think about my home as my place of employment.
I made a schedule with designated beaks and lunch breaks. I worked Monday through Friday from 9am to
5pm.
I didn’t see a point in me washing a bunch of my clothes and I am just around the house all day. I wore scrubs
as my uniform when I was teaching so I wore those same scrubs around the house to “work”. Doing that cut down on my laundry.
Every Morning: Get up and get dressed. Straighten up the bathroom, unstack
the dishwasher, put a load of laundry in the wash, fold the clothes that are in
the dryer, put the breakfast dishes in the dishwasher/straighten up the
kitchen.
 
Every Night: Stack the
dishwasher, straighten up the kitchen, put the clothes in the dryer if you hadn’t
done so already, take something out for dinner tomorrow, walk around the house
and pick up and put away things (clean up the day), get your children’s clothes
out and ready for tomorrow if they aren’t old enough to do it themselves.
 
Monday: Kitchen day. I would clean out the microwave, the fridge, the cabinets, clean behind and under
everything, sweep and mop.
 
Tuesday: Bathroom day. Wash the shower curtains, wash the rugs, get rid of all the empty body wash bottles,
clean the tub, toilet, sink, mirror, sweep and mop.
 
Wednesday: Dining Room & Living Room day. Dust and wipe down all the furniture, sweep/vacuum behind and
under all the furniture, put away everything that does not belong in these
rooms.
 
Thursday: Errands, Grocery Shopping, and Doctors Appointments
 
Friday: Bedroom day. Wash the sheets, pillow cases, bed spreads, dust and wipe down all the furniture,
sweep/vacuum, clean off the night stand and dressers, clean out the drawers and
the closet.
When I first started doing this it took me a while to clean up. By week three and four the house really didn’t need
much cleaning so it didn’t take long. I would start around 9am and by 10:15 (if that long) I was finished cleaning for the day and free to lounge around and do as I please.
This is what worked for me. You don’t have to follow my schedule exactly. Tweak it to fit your needs and the needs of your family.

 

I hope that helps,

 

-Stacie Stiletto

Dear Stacie,

I have decided to become an Event Planner. I’ve only planned a few events since the start of my company and I’ve been telling my family and friends about my business, yet I am not getting much business. Not sure what I am doing wrong. Please help.
-Business Blonde
Dear Business Blonde,
Greetings Love!
I hope that by the time you read this your spirits are high and all is well. I appreciate you taking the time to reach out to me.
Congrats on starting your new business!!! Starting a new business can be extremely
exciting. It seems to me, from your brief email, that you are waiting for fish to jump in the boat.
What I mean is that you are waiting for your phone to ring off the hook, and for your email inbox to explode.
When you create a new business no one knows about the business but you. People won’t know about your business until you TELL them about your business.
If you can afford to pay for advertising, then pay for advertising. If advertising is not in your budget at the moment then I have a few suggestions of things you can do to get the word out.
    1.   Create a social media page for your business. Interact with the people who like and follow your page.
    2.   Everybody goes on CRAIGSLIST to and ANGIES LIST to find different services. Post ads on sites like that to help spread the word.
    3.   Get up early one Saturday morning, put your hair and face on, put on business attire then head out to the mall to introduce yourself to people. Tell them about your company and ask them to keep you in mind for their next event. Thank them for their time and give them your business card.
You can throw parties all year long, not just birthday and anniversary parties. Get a
calendar (or make one) and mark down all the holiday parties.
January  New Year’s Day party.
January 1 Martin Luther King’s Birthday
February Super Bowl
February Valentine’s Day
February Presidents Day
February Madi Gras
March St. Patricks Day
April Easter
April Spring Break
April Prom
May Cinco De Mayo
May Mothers Day
May Memorial Day
May Graduation
June Fathers Day
July Independence Day
August Back to School
September Labor Day
September My Birthday (wink)
October Columbus Day
October Homecoming
October Halloween
November Election Day
November Veterans Day
November Thanksgiving
December Christmas
December Hanukkah
December New Year’s Eve
I hope I was able to give you a push in the right direction. If you have any more questions after you have done all of this, please feel free to reach out to me again.
Peace and many blessings,

 

 

Dear Stacie,

How would I go about starting a successful Novelty t-shirt business?
Thanks in advance,
-Biz Newbie
Dear Biz Newbie,
I appreciate you reaching out to me about your business venture. The first thing you want to do before you do all the fun stuff is do your research. Find out all there is to know about THAT industry. Then sit down and think
long and hard about the reason WHY you want to go into THAT industry.
Ask yourself… if you had to do it alone with no help from anyone… just YOU
would you still want to do it? If the answer is NO… then that isn’t the business for you sweetie.
Even if NO ONE fwm when it comes to STACIE STILETTO and LANIQ BOUTIQUE… I would still craft and I would
still blog. Having support from others is great and all… but you have to be willing to support yourself. Be your own number 1 cheerleader from the start.
If you are still interested in moving forward with your business venture AFTER you have done your research, get back with me and I will assist you to the best of my ability.

 

Peace and many blessings,
-Stacie Stiletto

Dear Stacie,

I just recently moved out of my parents place and I am now living on my own. I wasn’t as prepared for the “real world” as I thought I was. I am having a hard time with paying bills on time and even just remembering to pay them. I don’t want to admit defeat and run home to my parents just to have them tell me “I TOLD YOU SO…” I’ve tried talking to my older sister and ask for help but all she keeps saying is “ADULTS PAY BILLS… WE JUST GET IT DONE. PERIOD.”

Thanks

-Forgetful

Dear Forgetful,

I am sorry to hear/read that you are having a difficult time out on your own. I understand how you feel. I was once in your shoes. When I left my parents house, I was young and extremely unprepared. I remember thinking…

“I HAVE TO PAY BILLS… LIKE EVERY MONTH?!”

In the beginning, I was barely keeping my head above water. Something had to give. I refused to go back to my Mother and tell her I couldn’t do it. I didn’t have a big sister to go to (I am the big sister) so I had to figure out a way to do what “real grown ups” are suppose to do.

I got a calendar and some markers, grabbed all of my bills and sat on my bedroom floor to come up with a plan.

I marked all of my paydays in GREEN
I marked all of the bills in RED

 

I went through the calendar and I did the same for each month. Then I hung the calendar up in a place that I know I would see it everyday, the bathroom mirror (.wink.)
I am the type of person that has to physically SEE something everyday. If I don’t see it, it wont get done. Here it is 10 years later and I still have to do it.

You have to do what is best for you. Find a system that works for you, and stick to it. I hope that helps.

 

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