Pick Up The Pieces

Even though it’s easy to jump
into a new relationship, getting over someone you thought you would spend
eternity with is an emotional process because you spend hours crying on your
best friends shoulder, you listen to sad songs on Pandora, and you eat your
weight in junk food.
 
First, getting over someone you thought you
would spend eternity with is an emotional process because you spend hours
crying on your best friends shoulder.
You shouldn’t go through this
alone. If your best friend is truly a friend she will be there for you to dry
your tears, tell you how it’s their loss for losing out on a great person like
you, pour you a shot or two of tequila, and stop you from drunk texting your ex
and putting all your drama on Facebook.
You should wait a week or two
before you post about your break up on social media and/or tell your
family/friends.
Wait until the breakup
is really final before you say anything. I remember when I was dating “Brent”
and when we broke up my friends came over to help me get over him. In the midst
of me crying they started telling me how they never liked him and how he wasn’t
any good and started naming reasons why we shouldn’t be together… some of it
may have been true, others were said with the hopes that it would make me feel
better… but when “Brent” and I got back together two days later, things were
awkward whenever we would all hang out together.
Additionally, you listen to sad songs on
Pandora. 
 
 
 
I don’t care what anyone says,
there is power in music. Music speaks to your soul. Well I know it speaks to my
soul for that matter. My first real break up happened back when I was dating
“Brice”, don’t get me wrong… I’ve had plenty of breakups but none that really
hurt my soul. I don’t know what it was about “Brice” but our breakup rocked me
to my core. I locked myself in my room for days playing the same Fantasia song
over and over and over again. Free Yourself – Fantasia
 
The songs I listen to when I am
attempting to mend my broken heart makes the process a little bit easier. The
songs make me feel a little less alone. Yea, my friends say they understand
what I am going through and dealing with but there are no words in the human
language that can describe the pain I feel in my chest.
Remember when you were
little and you would fall down and hurt your knee, or bump your head and your
mother would kiss it to make it feel better…? That’s what music does for me. It
kisses the pain to make it feel all better.
Find yourself a good station on
Pandora or create a playlist on your phone and/or iPod and let the music take
you away.
 
Since U Been Gone Kelly Clarkson http://youtu.be/aBeDBLHedf0
Forget You Cee Lo Green http://youtu.be/pc0mxOXbWIU
We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together
Taylor Swift http://youtu.be/WA4iX5D9Z64
Ain’t No Sunshine Bill Withers http://youtu.be/tIdIqbv7SPo
Somebody That I Used to Know Gotye http://youtu.be/8UVNT4wvIGY
Bye Bye Bye *NSYNC http://youtu.be/Eo-KmOd3i7s
Un-Break My Heart Toni Braxton http://youtu.be/p2Rch6WvPJE
Ex-Factor Lauryn Hill http://youtu.be/cE-bnWqLqxE
‘Everybody Knows John Legend http://youtu.be/c7NLq5Soq_E
Not Gon’ Cry Mary J. Blige http://youtu.be/Xxk4e59M8og
Just be a man about it Toni Braxton http://youtu.be/wpaR3wzTlvo
Me, Myself and I  Beyoncé Knowles http://youtu.be/4S37SGxZSMc
The One I Gave My Heart To  Aaliyah http://youtu.be/jnFKa8iuwHU
All Cried Out Allure http://youtu.be/D2_A3Ia-69U
The Love We Had (Stays On My Mind) – Dru
Hill http://youtu.be/LOa2SRshWEI
We’re Not Making Love No More – Dru Hill
http://youtu.be/9S-fkjC2OOs
If You Think You’re Lonely Now – Bobby
Womack http://youtu.be/sbbZ_k1Z8gU
We Can’t Be Friends – Deborah Cox and
R.L http://youtu.be/01yPbUXnJZk
Brokenhearted – Brandy Norwood http://youtu.be/9j17qt53Bh0
Be without You Mary J http://youtu.be/8XNaPX6MKlU
 
Finally, the most important reason getting
over someone you thought you would spend eternity with is an emotional process
is you eat your weight in junk food.
I am an emotional eater. When I
am upset and/or angry I eat. I was both when “Brice” and I broke up. I know I
had to have gained at least 10lbs while trying to get over him. It had to have
been day #3 of the breakup (maybe day #4) and I felt so empty inside. I didn’t
want to feel empty any more. The only way I knew how to fill that emptiness was
to eat. So I ate.
I ordered a slab of ribs from Country’s Barbecue along with a pulled pork platter with extra pickles and
onions, baked beans and fries as my sides, a side order of fries, and a large
lemonade.
I called Pizza Hut and ordered a
large pepperoni pizza with bread sticks and hot wings with extra marinara sauce,
2 liter of sprite, and cinnastix.
I placed an order at Hong Kong China for chicken fried rice with no egg and no veggies.
Not to mention the cookies,
candies, and fruit bowls I picked up from the grocery store.
My roommate at the time rode
with me to go pick up everything and she thought we were getting ready to have
some type of party.
We were roomies but we weren’t really friends so she didn’t
know what was going on in my personal life. I could only imagine what her face
looked like when we got back to the house and I took all that food and went
straight to my room with it.
Yes, you read that right… I took
all that food and locked myself in my bedroom and I ate until I no longer felt
empty inside while listening to Fantasia on Repeat.
 
Indeed, while it’s easy to jump into a new
relationship, getting over someone you thought you would spend eternity with is
a necessary
emotional process.
You have to deal with and mend
your broken heart. I’ve spent years jumping from one relationship to the next
after I broke up with “Brice” because I did not want to feel that pain again.
Not allowing myself to heal properly caused drama and confusion within my
new relationships.
My new mate(s) were truly the real MVP(s) because they were
fighting a battle blind folded with one arm tied behind their back(s).
Yea, I
was all glitz and glam on the outside but inside I was an emotional wreck.
Do yourself and your future
“boo” a favor and take the time to mend your broken heart. Love yourself enough
to fix what’s broken.
You wouldn’t buy “damaged goods” at the grocery store and
I am sure that if your “boo” still had hang-ups about their ex you would tell
them to deal with all of that before they pursue you.
So I am telling you as
your friend to take all the time you need to pick up the pieces and fix your broken heart.

 

I love you and I am here if you
need me.
-Stacie

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